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Nedak
post Aug 4 2008, 11:52 PM
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WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!!?


http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,396581,00.html
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BadAlbert
post Aug 5 2008, 04:46 AM
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A 'model employee' apparently. Aren't they always...


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Nedak
post Aug 5 2008, 11:58 AM
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"It puts the lotions on it's skin or else it gets the hose again!"
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sunupu
post Aug 5 2008, 01:41 PM
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That poor guy has to be the unluckiest schmuck in the world. I mean what are the odds of sitting next to someone on a bus who's going to to repeatedly stab and behead you? Someone thinking about doing it, probably higher.

I felt the same way when I saw the Justice Files of that Satan-worshiping voodoo cult down in Mexico that beheaded some twenty-year-old on spring break. What are the odds of running into a Satan-worshiping voodoo cult in this day and age? That's like cartoonishly bad luck.


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Nedak
post Aug 5 2008, 02:07 PM
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You're still concious for 15 seconds after you're beheaded.

Imagine the guy watching his body be devoured
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sunupu
post Aug 5 2008, 03:21 PM
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Cool idea, but I imagine he was dead before the beheading.

I think he got stabbed like eighteen times before the killer pulled the ole' Marie Antoinette.


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Nedak
post Aug 5 2008, 08:14 PM
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Why wouldn't you just behead him first.
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sunupu
post Aug 5 2008, 09:06 PM
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I've never beheaded someone, but I imagine it would be difficult. You got to cut through the spinal column, voice box and lord knows how many tendons.

I probably shouldn't have read this, I take the bus all the time.


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Nedak
post Aug 5 2008, 10:23 PM
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He beheaded him with a machete..

probably not as hard as it sounds.
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Dr. Death
post Aug 6 2008, 07:34 PM
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Crazy... I found this by chance. (Crazy that I found it by chance I mean, but if the shoe fits wear it I guess). This guy is awesome.




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Nedak
post Aug 6 2008, 07:49 PM
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He forgot to mention that the guy was eating his flesh afterwords.

I guess that news came afterwords.

I love the grape analogy though. He's gotta come to SCF
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BadAlbert
post Aug 7 2008, 06:50 AM
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QUOTE(Dr. Death @ Aug 7 2008, 02:34 AM) *

This guy is awesome.





Awesome? You really think so? This guy put the 'D' in douche, decided that wasn't enough so added the 'ouche' too. Anyone who likes him should be strangled, drowned, burned, then strangled again. Then kicked in the strangled, drowned, burnt, strangled balls, sawn in half and dropped into a hole in the ground that rodents use to shit in. After that a ring of the righteous shall form around the hole and collectively piss upon what's left. Songs will break out spontaneously, and there will be open copulation, wine, and joyful tears. Even if you say 'I don't really like him but...' you qualify for an instant headbut from an alcoholic glaswegian welder who smells strongly of urine and white cider.

You probably wish you were him don't you? I'm beginging to think I have misjudged you on a monumental scale.


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Dr. Death
post Aug 7 2008, 07:31 AM
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What a well thought-out arguement. I completely retract everything I said about the guy; I just can't handle that kind of monumental peer-pressure. I'm still cool right...? Right...?

SxePhil is awesome. He's CuteWithChris awesome. What are you, jealous?


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BadgerBob
post Aug 7 2008, 08:39 AM
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The guy needs sinus surgery. His voice is more annoying than Bon Jovi played on a Cassio Keyboard, piped through speakers in a lift, whilst standing next to a jolly fat man farting a Bryan Adam's medley as a raggedy-assed old lady repetitively taps her twisted finger on your forehead.

Besides, the fecal-lozenge loves himself so much he married himself. That is why you don't see his hand. The only ring he could find was his chocolatey sphincter.


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Dr. Death
post Aug 7 2008, 09:34 AM
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QUOTE(BadgerBob @ Aug 7 2008, 09:39 AM) *

The guy needs sinus surgery. His voice is more annoying than Bon Jovi played on a Cassio Keyboard, piped through speakers in a lift, whilst standing next to a jolly fat man farting a Bryan Adam's medley as a raggedy-assed old lady repetitively taps her twisted finger on your forehead.

Besides, the fecal-lozenge loves himself so much he married himself. That is why you don't see his hand. The only ring he could find was his chocolatey sphincter.

You see?

I found this little urchin eating from a dumpster on the BH board, intermittently assualting it's denizens and their inflated rhetoric just to survive. "Come" I patted my lap, "Come little one, you are not of this grain; come and I shall take you to a magical place, a place where you can be like others of your own kind..."


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