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Wild Donkey Jack
post Dec 11 2006, 05:23 AM
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There I was, deep within the Amazon jungles nestled in the heart of South America, wrestling a 40-ft boa constrictor. Had it not been for the years of training I had spent living with the Aborigian tribes in the undeveloped regions of central New Zealand, all would have been lost. As it would turn out, boa constrictor tastes a lot like chicken.

It was then it happened. I found myself surrounded. Bandits, drug-runners, militia men- of this I cannot say to this day; yet their intentions on the other hand were more than evident (and quite less than cordial). I managed to kill or immobilize a total of fifteen men in the ensuing firefight. Had my pistol not jammed during the incursion there would have been little need to choke out the latter twelve forementioned with my bare hands. Yet, they kept coming. Thick as mosquitoes on a late summer's evening. Everything went black.

I woke up sore, bound to wrought iron chair by heavy steel chains. Recalling an old trick I had learned from a traveling Mongolian circus troupe while on my stay with the Grand Raja of the Nepalian foothills, I made short work of my bound captivity. Undoing the blindfold which had until this point kept me from surveying the extent of my situation, I realized I was not alone.

Her name was Sandy Carmellington; she had blonde hair, green eyes, fair skin with a light complexion- and a body like a brick shit-house. She was a Canadian reporter sent to cover a story on the dangers susceptible to single, attractive women traveling abroad.

We managed to escape without incident through a little used entrance way she had inadvertently made note of while enroute to the place of our confinement. Newly liberated, we made love under the green-canopied, moonlit sky amidst the watchful eye of the rare and elegant Peruvian Catfish Monkey.
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The Milky Cowboy
post Dec 11 2006, 06:08 AM
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Impressive........

Back in 1987 I graduated from high school, 57th in a class of 60...my parents were so proud....

I also got arrested for the 2nd time for possesion of marijuana...and my 6th illegal consumption of alcohol...

A banner year...

On a brighter note....A friend of mine started selling LSD later that year...and after I got off probation...my friends and I had many great adventures from December of '87 through the summer of '88...

I never wrestled a boa constrictor though...unless, of course, you count...nah...that would be exaggerating...

nevermind....


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...and then we fucked them in the ass, and didn't even tell them...so they didn't even know....Bryan Rawson
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Batman
post Dec 11 2006, 08:02 AM
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Just like Brock Samson!!
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Goatgirluk
post Dec 11 2006, 06:28 PM
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Eloquent story Wild donkey Jack, and I'm happy to see you embracing our game of 'make your own words up' at only post one.


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" The world is a wonderfully weird place, consensual reality is significantly flawed, no institution can be trusted, certainty is a mirage, security a delusion, and the tyranny of the dull mind forever threatens -- but our lives are not as limited as we think they are, all things are possible, laughter is holier than piety, freedom is sweeter than fame, and in the end it's love and love alone that really matters."

- Tom Robbins'


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wafflewaitress
post Dec 11 2006, 06:39 PM
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QUOTE(Goatgirluk @ Dec 11 2006, 06:28 PM) *

Eloquent story Wild donkey Jack, and I'm happy to see you embracing our game of 'make your own words up' at only post one.


Yeah - totally corentulous..

Back in '87 I was 14 smoking out my bedroom window with my mate, listening to the B-52's and stalking schoolboys...ah them were the days..


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All you need is love, love.. Love is all you need.
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Dr. Death
post Dec 12 2006, 02:16 AM
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Wild Donkey Jack doesn't make words up. If he so wished he might perhaps establish new ones at his discretion as he is not only highly influental, but a long-standing confidant to the Meriam-Webster dynasty.

What word is it that you mistakenly think he made up?


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"I am the master... AND the commander." -Shake
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winnie
post Dec 12 2006, 05:32 AM
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making up animals at least....sadly the peruvian catfish monkey doesn't exist as far as i can determine

In 87 I was smoking my first doobie, going to art college and listening to jethro tull
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Dr. Death
post Dec 12 2006, 07:16 AM
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Did he not say they are rare? I know they exist because I've seen them. You obviously on the other hand have not- because if you were ever to even partake of the inherent grace and subtle beauty of the Peruvian Catfish Monkey but for a fleeting glance- it would not be something you'd soon forget.

Anyway, I've seen them and Wild Donkey Jack has seen them, that makes two witnesses, which, as you well know, is enough for a legally binding contract; therefore, unless you know of some crime purportedly enacted by a Peruvian Catfish Monkey, they are, without question, lawfully within existence.


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"I am the master... AND the commander." -Shake
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BadAlbert
post Dec 12 2006, 07:45 AM
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In 1987 I was going to high school and hating it. I was into skateboarding and hip hop but hadn't yet discovered booze or girls (well they hadn't discovered me).


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'Heaven help me, I'm in the hands of maniacs...'
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Batman
post Dec 12 2006, 08:30 AM
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Never seen a Peruvian Catfish Monkey? some people need to get out more.
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Goatgirluk
post Dec 12 2006, 09:28 AM
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Here's a clue.

Dubya made a similar , when he called people Iraqians (sniggers to self)

I'm not really a stickler for detail, but today is different. Today I'm taking no prisoners. Although having checked , I now see that with an i or an e,it would be ok , but the a has to go....make sure that stinking a never looks back.

As for '87, it makes me weep just to remember those halcyon days. Almost 20years on and I'm reduced to a shell, in sackcloth and ashes..only mice for friends and burrs in my hair. Pity me.


--------------------
" The world is a wonderfully weird place, consensual reality is significantly flawed, no institution can be trusted, certainty is a mirage, security a delusion, and the tyranny of the dull mind forever threatens -- but our lives are not as limited as we think they are, all things are possible, laughter is holier than piety, freedom is sweeter than fame, and in the end it's love and love alone that really matters."

- Tom Robbins'


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Dr. Death
post Dec 12 2006, 09:38 AM
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Oh piss on you, grammar Nazi. Of all the triffling shit...


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"I am the master... AND the commander." -Shake
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The Milky Cowboy
post Dec 13 2006, 01:10 AM
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QUOTE(Goatgirluk @ Dec 12 2006, 10:28 AM) *



Dubya made a similar , when he called people Iraqians (sniggers to self)



Not that it is important....but I have heard of 'Iraqians' referred to as 'sniggers'....as a condensed form of a racial slur...

I just thought it was weird to see the reference to Iraqis and then the word sniggers right after it...

What's my point? You may ask?....Just trying move up from bovine...


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...and then we fucked them in the ass, and didn't even tell them...so they didn't even know....Bryan Rawson
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GOAsT
post Dec 13 2006, 06:52 AM
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The last train leaves at 7:48. I suggest you be on it, otherwise the shit is going to hit the fan. And I don't mean that figuratively. I only wish that Big Harry was still alive to see the culmination of 4 years work on the Stillman project. Actually, Big Harry was a dick. I'm glad he is dead. He was so fugly. Good riddance.
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Goatgirluk
post Dec 13 2006, 08:01 AM
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QUOTE(The Milky Cowboy @ Dec 13 2006, 01:10 AM) *

Not that it is important....but I have heard of 'Iraqians' referred to as 'sniggers'....as a condensed form of a racial slur...


I was remarking about the salmon I'd caught with a weighted hook Milky, any sockeye fisherman knows that.


--------------------
" The world is a wonderfully weird place, consensual reality is significantly flawed, no institution can be trusted, certainty is a mirage, security a delusion, and the tyranny of the dull mind forever threatens -- but our lives are not as limited as we think they are, all things are possible, laughter is holier than piety, freedom is sweeter than fame, and in the end it's love and love alone that really matters."

- Tom Robbins'


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